I Am the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from the Arnold Schwarzenegger Comedy: A Look Back.

The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an action movie legend. Yet, in the midst of his star power in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which hits its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Role and An Iconic Moment

In the hit comedy, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who masquerades as a schoolteacher to track down a criminal. Throughout the movie, the investigation plot serves as a loose framework for Schwarzenegger to film humorous moments with his young class. The most unforgettable involves a little boy named Joseph, who out of nowhere stands up and states the stoic star, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”

That iconic child was portrayed by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a notable part on Full House as the schoolyard menace to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He continues to act today, with several projects on the horizon. He also engages with fans at the con circuit. Not long ago shared his memories from the set of Kindergarten Cop over three decades on.

Behind the Scenes

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the smallest of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I can't remember being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're snapshots. They're like picture memories.

Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?

My mother, mainly would bring me to auditions. Sometimes it was an open call. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all patiently queue, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, read a small part they wanted and then leave. My parents would help me learn the words and then, once I learned to read, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was incredibly nice. He was playful. He was pleasant, which arguably stands to reason. It would be strange if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I understood he was a major movie star because that's what my parents told me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I sensed the excitement — like, that's cool — but he didn't frighten me. He was just fun and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was exceptionally kind. He gifted all the students in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a authentic coach's whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your experience as being enjoyable?

You know, it's amusing, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, the direction of Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the pepperoni off the top. Then, the first-generation Game Boy was brand new. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to beat difficult stages on games because I knew how, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all childhood recollections.

That Famous Quote

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember the context? Did you know what you were saying?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was humorous.

“It was a difficult decision for her.”

How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. A few scenes were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the whole cast on the set, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, I suppose someone in charge came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "Give me a moment, let me sleep on it" and took a day or two. It was a tough call for her. She said she had doubts, but she believed it would likely become one of the iconic quotes from the movie and her instinct was correct.